The Dog Ascendancy

My best friend predicts that after widespread disillusionment with living under a human gerontocracy, Americans will demand an entirely new leadership class, thus opening up a spot in the not too distant future for a canine president, perhaps to be named President Doggington Bark. The ideal candidate is likely to be either a Lab or a Golden Retriever.

Humans and dogs have been together for over 30,000 years, when humans began leaving scraps of foods for wolves and then began enlisting domesticated wolves as hunting companions.

Of course, the transition to anthropomorphic leadership is already underway, with the Chinese President’s ursine appearance.

Today, even senior US military officers and Department of Energy undersecretaries are embracing the ascendancy.

Last year, Americans spent almost $125 billion for pet food and care, most of that for dogs, an amount greater than the GDP of 135 countries. Even though I don’t own a dog, I am friends with at least ten.

Imagine President Bark at a G7 conference, or even addressing the UN General Assembly. Other than a few misanthropes, the new US President would be universally loved and admired. And the first canine President would be favorably contrasted with most of the human mediocrities currently occupying positions as heads of state or as parliamentary grifters.

So the next time you encounter an adorable puppy guided along by its iPhone-entranced human walker, understand that you could looking at your future President.

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